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When I was on the apps in the late aughts, queer women could barely be found. I met so many cis straight men who checked the "women seeking women" box so they could match with queer women who, they fantasized, would magically change their sexual orientation just for them. The cast of 'Queer Eye' gives us their take on millennial trends. Some of that hasn't changed in But as the number of out LGBTQ people has grown, so too have their opportunities in online dating spaces.

Queer-friendly dating apps and sites are multiplying, and there are even a few that are — wait for it — pretty damn good. Here are the best dating apps and sites that'll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact. They're all worth a look or a swipe for that next hookup or serious relationship and are available on Android or iPhone. Some have paid versions, but prices aren't anywhere near the ridiculous ranks of the eharmonies of the world. So, look: There are plenty of decent apps out there, and even more that are up-and-coming. For people who are queer and want to connect, fear not.

There's no need to go to the cheesy bar down the block. Bust out your phone and let your index finger do the hard work. We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out more. Like Follow Follow. Whether you hate it a little or hate it a lot, it's a rite of passage for most of us. Best for queer women.

The Good. Free version: Yes Paid version: And queer women basically have one: Thankfully, HER is a non-offensive, user friendly app good for folks seeking long-term relationships as well as those who want a more, uh, temporary arrangement. Aside from a dating app, HER also acts as a sort of Facebook group for the queer community: Go to local events, find new LGBT movies to watch, bash the government, and connect with anyone who shares a post you like.

The site doesn't assume that all of their users are cis women and allows folks to identify as genderfluid, non-binary, and otherwise. Details to remember: HER is totally free to download. Accounts are verified and linked to people's Facebook profiles, so you're less likely to find fake profiles and trolls. Twinks Tube Gay Twinks Tube Boyester Gay Tube Sexy Teen Boys Boycall Twink Fuck Forbidden Gay Porn Twink Tube Boy Teen Twink Sex Tube Queerdiary Gay Teens Hd Gay Boy Porn Young Boys Gay Sex Gay Tube Boyoff Taboo Gay Tube Mister Boys Porn Bareback Porn Follow Gay Porn Gay Boys Tube Amateur Twink Young Sexy Boys.

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He would come home exhausted, smoke a little weed, pour a glass of red wine, then start scanning the hookup apps for someone to invite over. Sometimes it would be two or three guys in a row. It went on like this for years. Last Thanksgiving, he was back home to visit his parents and felt a compulsive need to have sex because he was so stressed out.

Before this, the longest he had ever gone was three or four days.

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It was a way of not dealing with my own life. For decades, this is what psychologists thought, too: But over the last 10 years, what researchers have discovered is that the struggle to fit in only grows more intense. A study published in found that rates of anxiety and depression were higher in men who had recently come out than in men who were still closeted.

But it was really horrifying. But I just felt like a piece of meat. It got so bad that I used to go to the grocery store that was 40 minutes away instead of the one that was 10 minutes away just because I was so afraid to walk down the gay street.

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And then you realize that everyone else here has baggage, too. But that meanness is almost pathological. All of us were deeply confused or lying to ourselves for a good chunk of our adolescence. So we show other people what the world shows us, which is nastiness. Every gay man I know carries around a mental portfolio of all the shitty things other gay men have said and done to him. I arrived to a date once and the guy immediately stood up, said I was shorter than I looked in my pictures and left.

For other minority groups, living in a community with people like them is linked to lower rates of anxiety and depression. It helps to be close to people who instinctively understand you. But for us, the effect is the opposite. Several studies have found that living in gay neighborhoods predicts higher rates of risky sex and meth use and less time spent on other community activities like volunteering or playing sports. A study suggested that gay men who were more linked to the gay community were less satisfied with their own romantic relationships.

Rejection from other gay people, though, feels like losing your only way of making friends and finding love. Being pushed away from your own people hurts more because you need them more. The researchers I spoke to explained that gay guys inflict this kind of damage on each other for two main reasons. It has to be constantly enacted or defended or collected.

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We see this in studies: You can threaten masculinity among men and then look at the dumb things they do. They show more aggressive posturing, they start taking financial risks, they want to punch things. This helps explain the pervasive stigma against feminine guys in the gay community. According to Dane Whicker, a clinical psychologist and researcher at Duke, most gay men report that they want to date someone masculine, and that they wished they acted more masculine themselves. Feminine gay men are still stereotyped as bottoms, the receptive partner in anal sex. A two-year longitudinal study found that the longer gay men were out of the closet, the more likely they were to become versatile or tops.

When he first came out, he was convinced that he was too skinny, too effeminate, that bottoms would think he was one of them. My boyfriend noticed recently that I still lower my voice an octave whenever I order drinks. So, his sophomore year, he started watching his male teachers for their default positions, deliberately standing with his feet wide, his arms at his sides.

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These masculinity norms exert a toll on everyone, even their perpetrators. Feminine gay men are at higher risk of suicide, loneliness and mental illness. Masculine gay men, for their part, are more anxious, have more risky sex and use drugs and tobacco with greater frequency.


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  4. One study investigating why living in the gay community increases depression found that the effect only showed up in masculine gay guys. The second reason the gay community acts as a unique stressor on its members is not about why we reject each other, but how. In the last 10 years, traditional gay spaces—bars, nightclubs, bathhouses—have begun to disappear, and have been replaced by social media.

    At least 70 percent of gay men now use hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff to meet each other. In , around 20 percent of gay couples met online. By , that was up to 70 percent. Meanwhile, the share of gay couples who met through friends dropped from 30 percent to 12 percent. And yes, those are problems. But the real effect of the apps is quieter, less remarked-upon and, in a way, more profound: For many of us, they have become the primary way we interact with other gay people. It feels good in the moment, but nothing ever comes of it, and those messages stop coming after a few days.

    It is that they are almost perfectly designed to underline our negative beliefs about ourselves. In interviews that Elder, the post-traumatic stress researcher, conducted with gay men in , he found that 90 percent said they wanted a partner who was tall, young, white, muscular and masculine. For the vast majority of us who barely meet one of those criteria, much less all five, the hookup apps merely provide an efficient way to feel ugly.

    John, the former consultant, is 27, 6-foot-1 and has a six-pack you can see through his wool sweater. Vincent, who runs counseling sessions with black and Latino men through the San Francisco Department of Public Health, says the apps give racial minorities two forms of feedback: It is, like mine, mostly hellos he has sent out to no reply. None of this is new, of course.